


A Little Lighter

by Melodic



Category: Hiveswap
Genre: Gen, baby lesbian extraordinaire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 00:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12243462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodic/pseuds/Melodic
Summary: Xefros is a boy that likes another boy. That was--okay. There's nothing wrong with that.It's not like shewantsto dance with another girl.She thinks of her posters and the blue lady lamps and she blushes.





	A Little Lighter

_"oh? do you have a girl you like?"_  
_"oh no its a boy x:)"_  
_"ohhh. for some reason i thought you were a boy all this time!"_  
_"i am hehe x:)"_  
_"oh...huh!"_

Xefros was a boy who liked another boy. That was--okay. I mean, she's not sheltered. She knows what that _means._ There's--there's nothing wrong with that. She's seen it on the news and stuff, they have their parades. Roxy always supported those people. She's pretty sure her dad does too. That's fine! Gosh. Should she ask him about it? God, no, what does she even want to ask? He probably doesn't want her to bring it up. Maybe she misunderstood some weird alien thing, and he'll think she's nuts for even mentioning it! It's not a big deal. Really. 

She thinks of the posters on her wall and the blue lady lamps and she blushes. That's _different,_ she thinks, that doesn't have anything to do with this. She definitely likes boys! Johnathan Taylor Thomas is super cute, after all. He has, like, nice hair! She thinks of the few times her ballet teacher brought in some kids from the boys class to do pair work, some smelly teenage boy dancing with her and trying to lift her up and how viscerally uncomfortable it felt having his hands anywhere near her. 

That's only because the boys in her classes are all boring and not hot, is all. If she were dancing with Johnathan Taylor Thomas it would probably be fine and great! Really! She's absolutely certain of it. It's very unlucky that there isn't a single attractive dude at her school, but thems the breaks. She has better things to worry about. Like getting out of this filthy alien house. 

I mean, it's not like she _wants_ to dance with a girl. She's thought about it sometimes, but that's just because girls are usually better at dancing! Why not have the nutcracker prince or whatever played by a girl? It doesn't change anything. It would probably be really cool. We shouldn't insist on casting some boy just because some people might think it's--that it's--

She doesn't want to say the word out loud or think it because it feels like acknowledging it at all is breaking a rule that nobody ever wrote down or told her about but she learned it anyway, somehow, and it has a vicegrip on her gut. She watched the first half of _Desert Hearts_ on tv but changed the channel as soon as Jude walked in like she'd been caught doing something wrong but it's just a movie and it's not like he would have even noticed and god why are you thinking so _hard_ about this. She paced back and forth in her room at two in the morning with shaking hands because Joey Claire knows what "gay" means, she knows what a "lesbian" is and first and foremost she knows that it's _bad,_ and that _she's not one of those people,_ and she swallows and forgets and says _you like boys_ over and over again like a mantra. She has a plan, she's going to be a dancer as famous and as skilled as Mom was, she's going to show the world ballap, and along the way she's going to meet some handsome guy and marry him. She always imagines him vague and faceless and the wedding nondescript, she's never interested in what he might be like, she just knows it's going to happen the same way she expects the sun to rise; inevitable, unavoidable, certain. Part of a package deal.

She keeps looking back at the tablet nervously and opening the messaging system and then closing it without saying anything because Xefros likes another boy, and there's some strange question on the tip of her tongue she can't articulate, or maybe because there's a thousand strange questions and she doesn't know where to start. It just lingers in the back of her mind where it's always been, a question she knows she's not supposed to ask or even think about under any circumstances, but she doesn't know why or even what the question is just that it's somehow wrong, wrong wrong wrong. 

I mean, it's not like Xefros is doing anything wrong. Being like that is perfectly respectable! Nobody in her family minds. She's just never met anyone like that is all. It's fine if boys want to dance with other boys and girls want to dance with other girls. It's just that Joey doesn't want to dance with other girls. She really, really doesn't. Even if the girl ballerinas are always so much prettier and more fun to watch than the men they're dancing with. That's just an objectively true matter of fact that everyone knows! She grips her flashlight a little tighter. Focus, Joey! This is stupid.

She can't just bring it up, though. Why does she want to bring it up. It's not an important subject! And besides they're aliens! He probably means something totally different! This doesn't have anything to do with dancing with other girls. Why would you think it did! Focus. Johnathan Taylor Thomas. Get out of the crazy house full of guns. 

Maybe Xefros will mention his crush again later and she'll find out what he meant. 

Joey Claire buries her thoughts and keeps walking. Somehow, though, everything feels a little lighter.


End file.
